When it comes to the kitchen, for instance, there are bounteous home improvement ideas. There’s the herb garden wall (in addition to a green thumb, a powerful sunlamp in the ceiling is required) or the pool table top that slips right over the center island. That one wouldn’t work if your kitchen’s island is plumbed: the water faucet would stick up and ruin everything.
But among the clever and innovative home improvement ideas you will also find some that are totally impractical—or just plain terrible. Here are nine of the silliest I’ve found—
1. Hammock Over the Stairs. A space-saver, yes. An attractive idea? Just, no.
2. See-through Bathtub. Glass walls for the tub = a housekeeping nightmare (among other drawbacks).
3. Fire Pit Coffee Table. Again: just, no.
4. Ping Pong Door. This one is complicated: the closed door has pins halfway up that allow it to tilt horizontally, whereupon the plastic net is slid into notches provided in the door frame…anyway, it’s a really small ping pong table.
5. Cat Transit System. A CTS consists of 8” diameter tubes running throughout the house just below ceiling level. Exit openings are provided at various points. Added feline-pleasing features: windows cut into the tubes at various key viewpoints.
6. A Wall That Plays Music When it Rains. This is an exterior wall idea. You install metal tubes, funnels, bamboo water chimes and tin pans to route rain water down the side of the wall as noisily as possible to splash and bang through twists and turns and waterfalls. This looks to produce the same quality of music a vacuum cleaner makes.
7. Beach Sand Under Work Desk. Like an on-the-job vacation; facilitates barefoot computer working. But—alas—another housekeeping nightmare.
8. Forest Chandelier. This one is a chandelier that looks like dozens of snakes coiled around one another: when lighted, it casts creepy shadows on ceiling and walls that “turn your room into a forest.” In a bedroom, certain to cause sleepless nights.
9. Glass Floor Over an Open Shaft. This home improvement idea is available only to Greenwich condo dwellers in buildings with abandoned elevator shafts. Since there aren’t any, we’ll never have to experience the horrendous effect.
On a bright note, there are many highly successful Greenwich home improvement ideas that are unique, fanciful and add distinction and value to a property. Falling in this category is the renovated master bath of a new listing we have at 2 Fairway Lane in Greenwich. His and her baths that marry the distinction of pre-war architecture with high end modern finishes. If you are in the market for a special home, renovated from top to toe on a quiet country lane that is only minutes to town, call me to come tour it.